Adoption Guilt- Waiting Child List

Guilt.

That little five letter word has been swimming right through my veins lately.

I recently blogged about how I am already finding this waiting thing extremely hard. And it’s only just begun. So I daydream about what could make it go faster. Which is pointless, because it’s totally out of my control.

As I daydream, I find myself logging into our agency’s website. I mindlessly click on the Waiting Children List. And then I am rudely jolted out of my daydream because I am looking at the face of Ethiopian children that I could adopt right this very moment.

I’m not allowed to share their pictures, but I want you to experience this effect. So, I Googled “Ethiopian Orphans” and pulled one of the pictures that came up. This is what it’s like to browse that Waiting Children List:

These children lived with their mother before entering the orphanage in February 2010. They are half siblings and share the same mother. Both of their fathers have passed away and their mother is unable to care for them. They are healthy, in good condition, and developmentally appropriate for their ages. She is now in the 3rd grade. Her favorite subject is science. Hobbies: bingo and jigsaw puzzles, playing with friends and helping to cook. She wants to be a medical doctor when she grows up. The Bible verse she knows and loves the most: “The blood of Jesus cleanses us from all sins.”What she has been praying: That God will help her in her studies to become a medical doctor. He is a 4 year old boy. He likes to play soccer with the older boys. He is a happy boy and sings a lot. He has his own pronunciation of words that is sweet to hear and some of it is only known to him. You have to probe to fully understand. The kids understand him better than adults.

Do you feel those strings pulling on your heart, ripping it apart at the seams?

Now put yourself in my shoes… with one phone call, I could begin the process to have these kids home by Christmas. Maybe Labor Day if things go quickly.

Can you understand my guilt?

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1 Comment

Filed under The Wait List

One response to “Adoption Guilt- Waiting Child List

  1. Leah

    That’s… tough. wow. I’m sorry Jayme. Pray for God’s timing, and whatever you do, remember that you ARE giving an amazing home to two very lucky kids, whether now or later.

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