Thank you for all of the encouraging comments to my last post. Now I don’t like to call my blog reader names, but y’all are a bunch of assumers!! The loveliest of assumers, of course. A few of you know where this story is going, but most of you do not. My last post was only to say we had requested more information, and that’s it. This post was originally written on Tuesday, April 19th.
The next few days were crazy. On Monday April 18th, we had a call with the agency. Before they would send us more information on these children, they wanted to talk to us about our motivations and make sure that we fully understood what we were doing. A different lady at the agency, Ashley, handles the waiting children, so we got passed on to her.
On the call, Ashley questioned us as to why we wanted to change from siblings under age three to siblings under age eight. Turns out it’s pretty uncommon for people our age who have no other children to inquire about older siblings.
She wanted us to talk to more families who have adopted older siblings (we had already talked to a few) and to consider a lot of things. Ethiopia doesn’t record birth dates, so their ages are an estimate. What if they turn out to be older than we think? The 8-year-old could actually be 10! Are we okay with that? We don’t know their whole history. What if they have been abused somehow- maybe sexually abused? What kinds of resources do we have in our communities to deal with that? We talked to Ashley for about an hour. After the conversation, she emailed us some families to contact and some reading material to go over.
That night was an emotional night. For the 24 hours after that call, we thought about very little other than those kids. We read. We prayed. We talked. We watched videos. We thought about how crazy this all is…and we thought about how strongly we feel that those kids on the waiting list are our kids.
The next day I emailed Ashley. I told her that I did not expect to be getting back with her so soon (I didn’t want her to think that we hadn’t really thought about things), but that we were ready to move forward and find out more information on these kiddos.
She said no. She said think about it for a week and get back with me then.
A whole week.
I pushed back. I said “we’re not asking to adopt them, just to get their information that will guide us in our decision.”
She still said no. She said if it wasn’t the right thing for our family, it is harder to say no after you receive additional information.
Mark IM’d me and asked if me and Ashley were going to get in a fight.
I understand her reasoning, and if I were in her shoes I’d probably do the same thing. I get that she’s looking out for the kids, and that to her these changes seem very sudden. But it’s not sudden. We are the type of people who research a CAMERA for ten hours before we buy one. We had already thought about all the things she told us to. We thought them through again and again and again and again before we even requested information on them. It feels like a wasted week.
But it was out of my control, so wait a week we did. And just so you can feel how truly painful a wait that was, I’m going to make you wait a week before I update you with the next part to this story.