What’s Next? Delays in the Ethiopian Adoption Process

We’ve had a couple days to process the bomb that was dropped on Friday.  Thank you to those of you who have reached out to us.  I’ve said it a zillion times before, but we know we are truly lucky to have such a supportive network of people around us. 

I want to elaborate a bit on what exactly this all means.  The worst case scenario is finding out the girl can’t be adopted, they won’t separate the siblings, and both kids stay in the orphanage until they age out.  The best case scenario (aside from their bio families being willing and able to provide for them) is that the father relinquishes his rights and does so quickly, and we can move forward with adopting both kids.  Any variation of things could take place.  It could take months for the father to relinquish his rights, if he does at all.  If he doesn’t, they can either call it abandonment and consider her an orphan, or they can say that she has two living parents and is not technically an orphan.  We could come home with just the boy and not the girl.  We could bring the boy home in a few months and bring the girl home a year later.  In short, worst-case is that we don’t get to adopt these kids at all.  Best-case is that this is just a minor bump that results in no/short delays.

See how that can drive a girl crazy? 

If you know me, you know I am a planner. I hate that I can’t confirm plans more than a few weeks out.  I hate that I have no idea what my family will look like in a year.  I hate that something we so desperately want is so far out of our control. 

My optimist nature thinks that this is going to work out.    I have read encouraging stories of similar cases.  I have a feeling we are going to bring her home.

But I don’t let myself go too far down that path before bracing myself for another very real possibility- that we will never bring her home.  And maybe not him either.  We are attached to these specific kiddos- I don’t want to look at other ones or think about what we do if this doesn’t work out at all.  That just doesn’t feel right.  These kids have been growing in my heart the same way that other mama’s kids have grown in their bellies. 

My faith helps me believe that even when I do not know the outcome, He does.  And He knows what is good for me better than I do.  I don’t understand why this is happening, but I don’t have to.  That’s very frustrating for me, but it also brings me comfort. 

We are so ready to start our family and really hope to bring these kids home.  But if that is not in the cards for us…we will be okay.  Disappointed, heartbroken, angry, yes.  But okay.   We have been given way too much in life to focus on what we do not have, and although it’s hard to say now, our ultimate happiness does not come from these kids.  Now I just need to repeat that a few thousand times….

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7 Comments

Filed under Adoption Process, Referral

7 responses to “What’s Next? Delays in the Ethiopian Adoption Process

  1. Jayme, my heart breaks for you and Mark, as well as the kids. It’s just so terribly unfair. But I must say, your resilience, persistance and ability to focus on what’s truly important is incredibly inspiring. Keep us posted on how things develop. I hope this is just a hiccup and you have your family together very soon.

  2. Connie Campbell

    So your kids have the same Mom but different dads? Just trying to get the facts right! Still praying and hoping they get to come home soon!

    • justjames44

      Yes, same mom different dads. The biomom told the orphanage that both dads were dead….and we just now found out that hers wasnt.

  3. Kristie

    Jayme and mark. Our hearts and prayers go out to both of you and your two precious children. Of course it will be devastating if you do not get to bring them home. They have been your children for some time now and you love them like I do mine. And losing one or both will be a terrible blow. However you are very strong faithful people and you are right. U will survive. For now we need to get every prayer chain possible up and going. Prayer can work miracles. And it’s your turn for one. We love you.

  4. Aunt Di

    My gut tells me this is a small rock (maybe even a pebble) in the road and you’ll get it kicked out of the way. Know that you and Mark are in my thoughts.

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