We went about the next several weeks in a fog. Everything felt surreal. Our first doctor’s appointment was September 6th, four whole weeks from the day we found out. This seemed like forever!!! We told our closest family and friends, but mostly kept the news to ourselves. I felt great. There were few days I could go all day long without a nap, but I never felt sick and didn’t get TOO cranky. I was very thankful for this, but it added to my feelings of worry that something was wrong. I was terrified it was all a dream and the doctor would rudely awaken us.
Finally, September 6th came. That morning I was so nervous we would get bad news. It seemed like after such a long journey to get to this point, things couldn’t possibly be easy. We reported to the hospital and impatiently waited for our name to be called. A nurse I didn’t know took us to a room and asked us lots of questions. They took my blood and told me stuff I already knew. Then we moved to the ultrasound room. By my calculations, I was about 10 weeks along. From what I had heard and read, I was hoping to see the heartbeat but not hear it. In my head, that meant seeing a little line like this:
I was wrong. On the ultrasound TV thing, the screen suddenly went from black to a little tiny baby-shaped figure moving and kicking like crazy. Instant tears. That was my baby on the screen! My heart filled with overwhelming love for this little grape-sized being I had never met. We did see a pulsing heart. Relief washed over me and reality set in- I was really pregnant! This was the first time I really believed it, really felt it.
Back in the other room, the doctor came in and said she was going to try to listen to the heartbeat. She told us not to worry if we could not hear it as 10 weeks is usually the earliest they can detect sound. Sometimes it takes longer. She rubbed the wand around on my belly and suddenly we could hear the loud pounding- instant tears again! It was unbelievably cool. That little heart was racing; 160 beats a minute.
Four weeks after officially finding out I was pregnant, I finally felt secure that I was indeed.