Financial Accountability

Once you get a referral, it typically takes 6-ish months to bring the kids home.  When we switched to waiting list kids back in early May, we had roughly 2/3 of the adoption expenses saved.  Thus, we thought we had about 6 months to come up with the last third.

The garage sale we had back then was a huge help.  Many of you donated items that we sold, some donated cash, a few donated extremely generous sums of cash.  The adoption showers you had for us also helped us prepare for the kids once they got here.

We have a fund that is totally separate from the rest of our finances for adoption, and I am happy to say that it is now fully funded.  Whether we bring home the kids tomorrow or in two years, financially we are ready.

But as you know, it’s not going to be tomorrow, and it’s not going to be next month.  It’s going to be a long time from now.  If we had known we would have all this time to save, we never would have needed to have a garage sale.

That puts us in a funny spot.  We are so thankful for all that you have given us, and we want to manage it responsibly.  We are normally pretty frugal people, but we won’t be pinching every penny to save for adoption as we have been over the last several months. We are planning on going about our normal lives while letting the adoption money sit in the fund until we need it.

This has been bugging me for awhile now.  I just don’t feel okay going on vacation, buying new things, or going out to eat while people have made sacrifices to help us financially.

That brings me to this post.  We are planning on using every dollar that was given to us for the adoption, but if you have donated to us and would rather us do something else with that money, please please please let us know.  We can give the money or cash equivalent back to you, donate to other families that are adopting, donate to relief organizations, or any number of things.  Same goes for the gifts we were given for our adoption shower.  All of the gifts were so nice and we are excited about using them-someday.  Crayons and games don’t expire.  But since these gifts will not be going to the original recipients, please let us know if you think there is a better use for them.

If you’ve given to us in any way for this adoption, please take a few minutes to think what that means now, and please do NOT be afraid or nervous to ask for things to be returned or given to another place.  I have nearly driven myself crazy trying to figure out the best way to handle this, and putting that decision back in your hands is the best thing I could come up with.  If you do decide to keep the money/gifts going towards our adoption, that is very much appreciated and please feel comfortable knowing that is exactly where the money will go…eventually.



Filed under Adoption Finances, Losing a Referral

2 responses to “Financial Accountability

  1. Jayme,
    i feel a little creepy saying this since i don’t really know you, but i love your writing and think you have a heart of gold. this post was so sweet and genuine. i think that is wonderful that you offered to refund people’s donations even though i’m sure most will want you to keep it. i love reading about your adoption story and now bio baby’s story…i’m sure you will love being a mom of all of the children.

  2. Silvy, you are such a creepster! 🙂 Jayme and I fully discussed everything above…except the crayons. I’m keeping the crayons and they probably won’t last until our future adopted children join us. I’m sorry.

    Seriously, though…we are way too blessed by the people in our lives.

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