Originally written July 31
If you’ve been following along you know how we found out we were pregnant and got a referral for two kiddos within 48 hours, how we decided to handle that news, how the adoption agency initially reacted, and what their ultimate decision was.
So we’re going from a family of 2 to a family of 6 in less than two years.
How exactly will this happen?
Good question. I wish I knew the answer. Here is how I HOPE it happens.
We will travel to Ethiopia sometime in early November to meet the kids and go to court. This will make the adoption legal in Ethiopia. It is a short trip; we spend nearly as much time traveling as we do in country. Why wait until then? The courts close each year during this time due to rainy season…that is not a joke. This time of year it rains so much that the dirt roads turn to mud and become unpassable, so the whole court system comes to a stop. They closed August 6th and no one knows then they will reopen, but they should definitely be operating again by October. The birthmom has to go to court before we do, and she just recently got a court date of October 21st. So, we should be set to go sometime a few weeks after that. It’s important to note that this is much different than our last attempt at adoption. That time, we had been matched with the kids for 5 months and never even got all the papers submitted to the courts. This time around, all of the paper work has be submitted and things are moving more quickly. So although we have been matched with these kids for only about six weeks, we are already further along than we were last time. That doesn’t mean we can’t or won’t run into other delays, but it does mean we’re off to a good start.
After our first trip we come home for an unknown amount of time- probably around 8 weeks, but could be significantly more or possibly less. This time will be spent getting everything ready for these kids and crossing items off of our Things-To-Do-Before-We-Have-Four-Kids-Bucket-List.
We’ll get a short notice to travel for our second trip, maybe just a few days. Hopefully this trip will take place in December or January, but who knows. Our second trip will be slightly longer than our first. During this trip we will visit the US Embassy in Ethiopia. The adoption will be completely finalized. We will bring the kiddos home, and they will be U.S. Citizens when they step off the plane. And then our lives will start to get completely and totally crazy.
What if I can’t travel due to the pregnancy? That is a possibility. If that ends up being the case we’ll work through it- we do have options- but it’s not something I like to think about. I know that might be the case, but the thought is upsetting to me so I’m not going to deal with it unless I absolutely have to.
The new baby, we call him or her Cletus the Fetus, is due March 23. I am nearly done with my first trimester, and I am so thankful to say this has been an easy pregnancy again. Maybe not quite as easy as it was with Wiggles, but with Wiggles I didn’t have a big house to take care of and a toddler to chase around. In any case, I can’t complain. I am already showing and have been for several weeks, though I can still easily hide it if I want to. Wiggles was 15 days late and I’d be okay with Cletus being just as late (though I hope Cletus comes by him/herself and not after a bazillion hours of labor). In my eyes, the more time we have with our new kids before Cletus comes along, the better. That is our biggest prayer right now- that we will have enough time between adoption finalization and newborn to get into somewhat of a routine. Of course you never want things in an adoption to get delayed, but in this case we really really really don’t need things to take longer than necessary.
And then Cletus the Fetus will arrive and our lives will really spiral out of control, and we’ll probably fall off the face of the Earth for awhile, and please could you pray for us/send a housekeeper/make us a meal/give me a massage during this time? Thankyouverymuch.
So is this a sure thing?
NOPE. Not at all. I am admittedly a little jaded about adoption. I know that it is never a sure thing until you have the kids home. I know it can get delayed. I know there are a hundred billion things that could change our nicely laid out plans and that as much preparation as we are doing, it could all be for nothing. My walls are up and as much as I want to fall in love with these precious children, I can feel myself holding back a little. I know there is a very real chance that something could happen and the adoption won’t go through. It doesn’t feel real yet. I am making plans, doing research, asking questions as if this is really happening, but I don’t think I will really BELIEVE it is really happening until we are in Ethiopia meeting these gorgeous kiddos. It’s really a fine line we’re trying to walk- to not get so attached to these kids that we’ll be crushed if we lose them again, but to attach enough that we properly welcome them as members of our family.
This concludes my series on Why We’re Crazy. Let’s all pretend things are normal again, eh?