Update on Bio Parent Court Date Part II

Here’s the update on our adoption thus far if you haven’t been following closely:

  • Got a referral in July of a 4-year-old girl and 8-year-old boy. Siblings.
  • Disclosed the pregnancy to the agency and got to keep the referral!  Bring on 4 kids!
  • Waited patiently for the rainy season to end so we could move forward
  • Birth mother’s court date assigned:  10/22/2013
  • Birth mom arrives in capital city but doesn’t go to court.  We think she is going to change her mind.
  • Birth mom’s court date moved to 10/28/2013

So that takes us to today.

The last four days have been hard.  We’ve gone about our normal lives despite the storm cloud hanging over our heads, threatening to rain down news that would put an end to this adoption.  Some moments it was easy to trust that everything would work out as it was supposed to, that there was a reason for this and all would be fine.  Some moments we were sure that she was going to change her mind, the kids would go back to the village, and we’d lose two kids we had grown to love…again.  Those moments were hard.  One night I had a break down and couldn’t focus on things as mundane as dishes…I just sat at the table and cried.

It was a long four days.

Today I emailed our agency rep as soon as she got to the office asking for an update.  She didn’t have one.  I got on a conference call and pretended life was normal.

She called a couple hours later.  I picked up the phone knowing she held news that would forever change our lives, one way or the other.

“I have good news.”

The tears came again.  I thanked God out loud about 1,482 times.

“The mom went to court today and relinquished her rights.”

This is what we wanted- this is a huge step we’ve cleared.  We can now move forward with the adoption.  There’s still a lot of things to complete- still a lot of potential for delays- but this far along, those things are likely delays and not show-stoppers (knock on wood).  THIS IS HUGE.  We are waiting on one more document to process on the Ethiopia side and we should travel soon after that.

But although this is what I wanted, I wasn’t happy overall.  Thinking about what that mother and the kids are going through is simply heartbreaking.  How can I be happy for myself when people’s lives are falling apart? How can I be happy when a mother has to give up her kids?  I cannot think of another situation that is this bittersweet.  I’m a believer in adoption, obviously.  But all adoptions start off under ugly circumstances, and we’re smack in the middle of the ugly part right now.  So I’m happy, thrilled, excited…and also sad, depressed, and heartbroken.

The agency rep sent us pictures of the kids with their birth mom.  Nearly everyone who has seen the pictures we previously had(I can’t share them online yet, sorry) has remarked about how happy the kids look.  Big smiles, always!  Not in these pictures.  In these pictures everyone is sad; the boy won’t even look at the camera.  I literally cannot look at them without crying.

So, that’s the update.  It’s great news for our adoption for sure.  We couldn’t be more excited about what the next few months hold for us.  We can’t wait to get to know these kids, to learn about their culture and to teach them about ours.  We believe that the life they will have here- the stability, the opportunity, the education, the freedom from worries kids shouldn’t have- is going to be great for them in the long-term.  We believe these kids will have a good life here, a better life than the ones they could have there. And it’s those beliefs that are getting us- and hopefully the biomom and the kids- through these very tough times.

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1 Comment

Filed under Adoption Process, Milestones, Referral

One response to “Update on Bio Parent Court Date Part II

  1. Judy

    So many emotions oh I can’t imagine giving up your children!! Kids don’t understand you can’t take care of them , but someday they may. We can’t even imagine what they have witnessed and experienced in their few years of life. Keep on believing God bless.

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