Our kiddo’s birth mom got interviewed by the US Embassy on Tuesday the 14th. Because of the time difference, this was Monday night our time.
This interview is the last step in a very long process. By this time, she has already been interviewed by the Ethiopian courts. She has already relinquished her rights. The adoption has been finalized in the eyes of the Ethiopian government. This Embassy interview is a last check, a way for the US Government to make sure that everything is being handled fairly and ethically.
Typically things happen very quickly after the interview. Usually within a day or two you hear something- either that your case is cleared and that you can come get your kids, or that they need more information or paperwork. We were hoping to wake up to an email Tuesday morning that told us we could come get our kids.
But we didn’t. The Ethiopian business day is over at 8am our time, so we didn’t expect to hear anything that day. We did get confirmation that the birth mom showed up for her interview, which was a good sign.
We didn’t hear the next day either.
Or the day after that.
We grew very frustrated. Not only are we so ready to get these kids home and move on with everyone’s lives, but with our situation we want them to be home as long as possible before the baby comes. And, I really want to travel and wont be able to for much longer.
Our agency wasn’t that helpful. They told us that although families usually hear quickly, that’s not always the case, and that sometimes it can take up to a couple weeks. They told us not to worry. We did anyways.
And it was for good reason. Like everything at every step of our adoption, nothing has gone as it does for most families.
We found out today that in the interview, the Embassy told the birth mom she would never see her kids again (she has been told this many times before). She told the officer that she “needs her children back” if that would be the case.
This puts our adoption in a very weird place. She has already relinquished her kids. The adoption is already final, and non-reversible, in the ET government’s eyes. But until the Embassy clears our case, we can’t bring them home. And is the Embassy going to clear a case when a birth mom is saying she needs her children back?
Emotionally it puts us in a weird place too. On the one hand, your heart just goes out to the birth mom. This isn’t a mom that got knocked up and doesn’t want to take responsibility for her kids. This is a lady who loves her kids but lost at the birth lottery. Think of how much you love your kids. Could you give them up, never to see them again, if you couldn’t feed them? Could you give them up, never to see them again, if it meant they would get an education you never had? No one should have to answer these questions.
But on the other hand, she has not had her kids for over 2 years. She cannot meet even their basic needs due to no fault of her own. The kids need security. They need consistency. They need parents. They need an education. They’re not getting those things now, and they would if this adoption can be completed.
I don’t know what’s going to happen next.
Can you please pray that God will be with that birth mom, and the decision makers in our case, and most importantly with the kids? Pray that things work out for these kids, because spending days in an orphanage is no way for a childhood to pass by. I know several of you that read this don’t believe in prayer, and that’s fine, but can you pray too? Maybe God will be really excited to hear your prayers 🙂