Corporate America Memories: Day 1

Today was my last Monday in Corporate America.  I’m so excited to find what the future holds, but cleaning my cube has made me a little sad too.  I’ve met a lot of good people at Sprint and we have a lot of good memories together- memories I recently sorted through in old emails and pictures.  Some of those memories are so good that I think you will enjoy them too, so I’ll be posting daily this week as my good-bye to Sprint.

Some members of my team like to prank each other, a theme that will become evident in the Week of Corporate Memories posts.  Here’s an instant message conversation following one of those pranks:

The Manager:

Since you are into the weird and bizarre..

This has “alien visit” written all over it

as you may or may not know, I am old school and appreciate the classic wood #2 pencil

The Employee:

love the classics

vinyl sounds better then CDs

The Manager:

I recently switched brands to the “MEGABRANDS” pencil. I have not fully tested the true strength of the brand but out of nowhere, every pencil that was in my pencil holder (another classic) has failed….the points have broken off on every single one. In the past, I would have been quick to point the finger of guilt at someone like yourself BUT because of your new leaf (girlfriend), I will not be placing blame on you

so I implore you to help me solve this mystery

do I contact the vendor to find out of this is common?

The Employee:

that would be a start but you do know that most pencils are now graphite instead of lead

The Manager:

oh that is just great….so maybe that is the issue

The Employee:

Maybe

because graphite is the softest metal

well lets get to the root of the issue

did anything happen to your pens that were in this same same “pencil cup”

The Manager:

Fortunately, I only had pencils in the container, no pens

The Employee:

Hmmmmmmmmm

that points to foul play

The Manager:

I don’t believe in the “permanency” of ink

The Employee:

I understand it is a confidence issue

The Manager:

non-committal

The Employee:

well how much were these megabrand pencils

The Manager:

not cheap…high-end for a pencil….12 for $3.00

The Employee:

well your brand is not even in the top 25 of all pencil manufacturers

which would lead me to believe that it is a design flaw

The Manager:

thanks for your input and expertise. For a short time, I suspected foul play but then ruled it out

The Employee:

with pencils nearing the classification of an archaic technology if you arent in the top 10 you might as well change your product and start making toothpicks

The Manager:

just wait until the aliens destroy our powerplants and we have no computers. those with this so-called “archaic” technology will be the leaders of the revolt

T Y R A N N Y

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