Today marks our eighth wedding anniversary!
To celebrate past anniversaries we’ve done lots of fun things: Bike rides in the country, bed and breakfasts, swanky hotels, wineries, museums. This year…well my sister texted me Sunday to see how many years it had been, and that was when I remembered our anniversary was this week. We ate casserole with the kids, took turns putting them to bed, folded some laundry, and maybe we’re going to have a glass of wine here soon. Fancy.
But really, it’s a perfect way to celebrate this year. Our marriage has been tested this year in ways it never had before. We’ve yelled, we’ve cried, we’ve given each other the silent treatment. This year has required absolute selflessness to care for these kids regardless if we feel like it or not. By the time they’re in bed we are usually so tired of being “on” that we each relax in our own ways, only to get back at it the next day. We just haven’t had the time or energy to do little things for each other, go on fancy dates, or talk in depth about our days. It’s been tough at times.
But here’s the thing. I may not get swooped off to fancy hotels, but I get to watch my husband play kickball with a bunch of kids in the basement. He may not enjoy sandwiches packed with cute little notes anymore, but he is so thankful for the nourishment I provide our babies. We no longer have power hours or restaurant dates or enjoy Mizzou games together, but we do enjoy the pile of coats in our entryway every night from the neighborhood kids and we do enjoy it when our 2.5 year old shuts the bathroom door on us because he wants to go “all by myself” and we do enjoy watching our almost-8-month-old make faces when she tries new foods. We’re enjoying life in a whole new way together, and it’s exhausting but also awesome.
Life is full of seasons, and this year we entered a season unlike any before. This year we entered a season that was not about our relationship. I’m not falling in love with my husband for the quality time we get to spend together (because there is virtually none); I’m falling in love with him because he’s my partner in building this beautiful family we’re creating. And it’s kind of like I’m falling in love with him all over again*.
Except for when I’m mad at him for not doing the dishes/laundry/floors/insert chore here. Forget the asterisk, this is supposed to be a nice post and that never happens.
**Plus, for our 10th anniversary we’re going to the beach unless my job experiment is a total flop. The grandparents have already been put on standby and this is what I dream about pretty much every day, so I’m totally cool with celebrating #8 on the couch.