Just One Example of How Life Changes Post Kids

Remember when you were expecting your first child and people kept saying “Everything changes when you have kids?”  And how deep down you knew that was true, but then you actually had a kid and understood that you didn’t really realize the true implications of just how much life changes?

I can think of approximately one million billion examples of this.  Like, I knew that I’d be responsible for small humans and that that was a big deal, but I didn’t really think about how overwhelming it can be when those small humans rely on you for EVERYTHING even in the middle of the night.  And how even your “breaks” can be over with one quick phone call.  I knew I would have less free time, but I didn’t really think about how that meant it would take me a week to watch one episode of The Bachelorette or three months to read a book or how my only time to work out is 5am or 9pm (which means I don’t work out).  And I knew I wouldn’t be able to be spontaneous, but I didn’t really understand how even the simplest things require vast amounts of planning and time.

For example, grocery shopping.  Most of the time I really enjoy taking the kids with me (except The Baby.  She sucks at grocery shopping).  They’re usually well behaved and we have a blast trying free samples, comparing prices at different stores, and talking about healthy selections vs. junk food.   But dear sweet baby Jesus, getting to the store practically requires an event planner.

Pre kids, here was my going-to-the-store routine:

  • Decide I want to go to the store
  • Grab my bags
  • Go to the store.

Here’s how it went this weekend:

IMG_5899

  • Decide I want to go to the store
  • Ask what kids want to go with me; negotiate with them to try to make the kids-at-home situation easier on the Husband
  • Break up a fight as they argue about who will go and who will stay home
  • Encourage Wiggles to eat his spaghetti; tell him we’re going to leave without him
  • Tell big kids that if they want a new kind of chips they need to select the ones we already have for their treats
  • Encourage Wiggles to eat
  • Tell big kids they cannot bring their treats in the car
  • Encourage Wiggles to eat
  • Tell big kids to put their shoes on
  • Encourage Wiggles to eat
  • Tell big kids I’m not buying them new chips since we still have the old chips; watch as they persuade Wiggles to pick the old chips as his treat
  • Remind Wiggles to clear his plate
  • Tell Wiggles to go potty
  • Pick up the messy table
  • Tell Wiggles he’s not going to the store if he doesn’t go potty
  • Break up a fight between the big kids
  • Help the Husband finish cleaning the kitchen
  • Thank Wiggles for going to get a new diaper and shorts but tell him I already have those things and that he can put the new ones back
  • Get Wiggles dressed
  • Put my shoes on and make sure I have all essential items
  • Grab my bags
  • Try to figure out why Wiggle’s chips are now all over the driveway
  • Call out the Husband to clean them up
  • Send Smiles to go get Wiggles new chips, wonder if this is a ploy to get rid of our old chip supply
  • Buckle Wiggles in
  • Remember Diva’s car seat is in the Husband’s car; send her to get it
  • Twist and turn her car seat to fit into the car
  • Kiss Wiggle’s head where I bumped it
  • Realize I have no wipes in the car, send Smiles in to find some
  • Remind Smiles to use his eyes before his mouth when he can’t find something
  • Realize the back part of her car seat is separating from the main seat
  • Take it back out
  • Fail to fix it; call the Husband out
  • He can’t fix it either
  • Realize if we don’t leave soon we’re not going to make it home in time for the next baseball game
  • Have a melt down and start squawking about how it takes 40 minutes to do a simple thing like leave for the store
  • Tell Diva I’ll buy her chocolate if she stays home
  • Give her a hug and wipe away her tears
  • Stop The Baby from toddling into the street
  • Leave
  • Turn around 1 minute later when the Husband fixes her seat
  • Crawl into the back to install it
  • Go to the store

IMG_6174

Tell me it’s not just me!!  Other people deal with this too right?

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