The Husband and I recently celebrated nine years of holy matrimony.
When we got married I had a very wrong idea about what marriage looked like: Roses and butterflies, rainbows and sunshine. But I’m gonna keep it real here, this is not always the case. In the years past I had no shortage of mushy words for an anniversary post. We have done lots of exciting things to celebrate our anniversary. We’ve stayed at cute bed and breakfasts, visited quaint museums, one year we even went to a winery before going on a 10 mile bike ride through back country hills…that was fun 🙂 You see, in the years past we had time to focus on ourselves and focus on our relationship without distractions like screaming kids, bottoms to wipe, or night time visitors.
Now we’re in that season of life where just getting through the days feels like a success- much less spending time focusing on your partner. And partners is exactly what we are, because being lovers takes a lot of time and you don’t have time when you’re raising 4 small humans. So we partner to make sure the dogs get fed and all the kids get to the places they’re supposed to be and that all the mess gets picked up every night. And sometimes we even fail at that, like last week when we both forgot that Smiles had after school tutoring and Diva got off the bus and couldn’t get into the house and we were both at work and didn’t even notice when the kids didn’t call (she ended up going to the neighbors house until we noticed and rushed home). Oops.
Our anniversary dinner was home cooked and was punctuated by screams and thrown green beans. It wasn’t the most romantic meal we’ve ever had.
Or was it?
Isn’t there something to be said for truly doing life with someone? I started dating the Husband when I was just 20 years old. I’ve done a lot of life with him. I’ve traveled to Germany and Ethiopia and Switzerland and Mexico with him. I’ve eaten expensive steak dinners and spent fancy nights out on the town with him. I’ve bought 2 houses with him, cried with him, laughed with him. But we’ve never lived life with quite the intensity we’re living it now.
Isn’t there something to be said for a relationship that can withstand conflicting attention? Don’t get me wrong, it’s important to have date nights and quality time with your spouse. It’s especially important for couples in our situation. We try to make it a priority, but it is so very hard. We’ve probably fought more over the past year than we ever have in the past, but I’ve also felt closer to him than ever before because who else can possibly understand this crazy life we’ve built?
So I wouldn’t use mushy to describe our relationship right now. But it’s real.
- Thank you for cleaning up the house every single day, multiple times a day.
- Thank you for saying yes.
- Thank you for being present for your kiddos.
- Thank you for letting Wiggles give you kitty kisses on your face.
- Thank you for putting up with me when I’m not easy to love.
- Thank you for arranging your work schedule to allow me to pursue my ambitions.
- Thank you for encouraging me to take a new job, and supporting me while I build my business.
- Thank you for taking care of yourself.
- Thank you for changing diapers.
- Thank you for playing endless games of basketball with Smiles.
- Thank you for making the bed in the mornings.
- Thank you for the giant box of Heath bars you gave me for our anniversary.
- Thank you for letting Diva be girly while teaching her there’s more to life than being pretty.
- Thank you for fixing all my technology problems.
- Thank you for being a man our kids can look up to.
- Thank you for always being willing to watch the kids when I need to run errands.
- Thank you for encouraging me to be healthy.
- Thank you for your diving catches that save The Baby.
- Thank you for putting together and fixing so many things.
- Thank you for accepting that I’m a little crazy and for going along with my often unreasonable plans, most of the time
Life is so demanding right now, but we’re doing this and I’m so glad you’re by my side. I love you!
Oh and just think, in another 9 years we’ll be preparing college applications with Smiles…surely we’ll have started vacations back up by then, right?!